If there's one thing we can count on in the Black Community, it's the idea that any form of open communication relating to emotions has remained nearly non-existent for decades. Most of the efforts made to do so have regularly been met with some form of backlash for attempting to speak up while simultaneously not even establishing the initial foundation to form the words necessary to allow for that level of vulnerability to occur in the first place. Sure, it's a never-ending reminder of the ways in which Black people's feelings have been minimized through systemic racism. Oftentimes viewed and showcased as strong beings who don't require any form of emotional release to overcome adversity throughout life. Informed, that Black people are not allowed to have feelings, let alone express them when we need to. That somehow, we can take whatever's dished out to us and be okay in the end without the delegation of a space ( let alone a safe space at that ) to speak freely about them. What's even worse, is that our parents are sometimes perpetrators of co-signing this concept. Lost under the guise of how they pushed through hard times in life without talking about or even highlighting their feelings either; making them stronger. They only had time to focus on surviving, but they turned out just fine, right?

Mmm ... debatable.

Granted, you have to give them some credit. When the society you've been forced to adapt to that wasn't initially created with you in mind doesn't give you much of a choice, well ... I can understand how that mindset is established, to a certain degree. However, as we continue to take up more spaces than we normally would and the new generations begin to recognize that the Black Community is also deserving of a soft life, it's out with the old and in with the new. It encourages us to begin changing that narrative. No one said it was going to be easy either. Can't teach an old dog new tricks and with many of the belief systems that have been passed down naturally, it requires a lot of unpacking and undoing that's been relatively tough on the younger generation to face on our own.

Now, the Black Community as a whole is challenged with this reality, but in essence the ones who struggle with it overtly, are Black Men.

Okay, wait a minute ... hear me out and don't fight me, cause I know how you gurls like to tussle.

Has there been some progress made with the emotional dysregulation that Black Men experience? Certainly. Is there a long way to go still? Absolutely. Regardless of the behaviors that are carried down from generations passed, their individual experiences and feelings are still just as valid.

Yup, you read that right in case no one's told you lately, Black Men, your feelings are valid. Like Black Women, they face a lot of challenges along the way in which the majority refrain from talking about because at some point in their lives, an authoritative figure ( whether that be parental or societal ) either made them feel bad for trying to or blatantly told them they were wrong for doing so - that, emotions were deemed a weak state of mind and made them less of a man.

This has been portrayed notoriously throughout history, film and television and is proven to be the catalyst for the ways in which Black Men operate, are viewed and treated in society every single day. We witnessed it during the Black Lives Matter protests and the way that police officers seemed to find their lives threatened significantly more when dealing with Black Men during something as simple as a routine traffic stop. The Ahmaud Arbery's who enjoy going on a simple run in the mornings. The Philando Castile's doing something as menial as driving with their family in the car only to have their lives stripped away due to supposed mistaken identity. The Kalief Browders walking down the street on a typical night out with their friends only to be wrongly targeted due to the color of their skin. The Christopher Coopers who like to venture into the park and birdwatch. In essence, Black Men are incapable of existing in this world without having to constantly peer over their shoulders or wonder if they'll make it home alive at the end of the day.

Where are the safe spaces for Black Men to express their feelings about their experiences though? Their existence? You would've thought with the immense spotlight shone on DEI initiatives following the death of George Floyd and uproar of the Black Community begging for the protection of Black Men's human rights it would've been the segway for monopolizing off these valuable opportunities to grant them room to nurture their psychological safety while making them feel seen and heard, like their lives actually matter just as much, but just as quickly as the subject matter was heightened and became centralized is as quickly as it fizzled out. So you can imagine how that left Black Men feeling shortly thereafter.

I mean, MJ said it best :

Interestingly enough, these instances allowed for the chance of open discourse between Black family members with their husbands, brothers, fathers, and sons. The women in their lives were having more intense conversations with them about the reality of their livelihoods which inadvertently opened the door for those vulnerable conversations and finally shed some light on Black Men's emotions and mental health. Did it change everything overnight? No, but it was a step in the right direction even in the midst of battling for the recognition of value that is their lives.

I know, some level of intersectionality must co-exist with the discussion surrounding men's rights but the key difference in the undertone of both ends of the spectrum, is that Black Men have been conditioned to believe that they are not allowed or entitled to express themselves in a vulnerable way. Which also starts in the home. It won't be an effort that can be accomplished alone either without the backing of the Black Community to both support and encourage the susceptibility of their emotions. Survival mode is one hell of an uphill battle for most, but a golden cage is still a cage and until Black Men are nurtured in a way that allows them to embrace the idea that they are safe enough to break the chain, the same generational perspectives around mental health will never change. Not only is it okay to lend a helping hand, but Black Men must be provided with reassurance that it's also okay to grasp the lent hand and hold it along the way if they anticipate working through old patterns and navigate the enrichment of newly formed ones.

Sometimes, this hand can look like challenging stereotypes, investing in therapy, and participating in supportive environments ( to name a few ). Regardless of the belief systems that may still run rampant throughout the Black Community that these attempts aren't worth fostering and are unnecessary or that all you need to do is pray about it. That simply isn't always enough and there are other avenues that exist and cater to Black Men's overall well-being. It takes more than that, and time, but taking that first step is better than none.